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Business School Essay Secrets
EssayEdge.com contains thousands of pages of free
admissions essay advice by Harvard-educated editors.
Business
school students face a uniquely difficult challenge,
because most programs require a series of essays
rather than a single, comprehensive personal
statement. This fact alone should indicate the
importance that business schools place on your
written responses. Part of the reason for this extra
required writing is that business schools also place
a stronger emphasis on practical experience.
Academic ability may still be the number-one factor,
but it's not enough to get you into a school, just
as it's not enough to guarantee your success in the
business world. Business schools pay close attention
to personal qualities, including your leadership,
communication skills, initiative, vision, and many
more. Grades and scores do not explain this side of
you, and neither does a resume.
Thus
your admission will depend largely on your ability
to convey your experiences and goals in written
form. Self-assessment is a significant part of this
process, as is a careful review of both your life
and what you have done professionally. Many
successful professionals have simply never had to
articulate their accomplishments before and now for
the first time must communicate this information in
a very clear, concise, powerful manner that is
accessible to anyone, even without knowledge of
their field. Being able to convey both the substance
and significance of one's work life is crucial for
all applicants.
As the
founder of EssayEdge.com, the Net's largest
admissions essay prep company, I have seen firsthand
the difference a well-written application essay can
make. Through its free online admissions essay help
course and 300 Harvard-educated editors,
EssayEdge.com helps tens of thousands of student
each year improve their essays and gain admission to
business schools ranging from Harvard to State U.
Having
personally edited over 2,000 admissions essays
myself for EssayEdge.com, I have written this
article to help you avoid the most common essay
flaws. If you remember nothing else about this
article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be
Concise.
Why
MBA?
Nearly
all applications will feature a question that asks
about your reasons for wanting to obtain an MBA at
this stage of your career. Some will explicitly ask
you to tie these reasons into your background and
your goals. Even for schools that don't offer this
specific direction, you should plan on such a
discussion of past and future, as it provides
essential context for your application.
"Why
MBA?" is often the first question asked and without
a doubt the most important essay you will write. It
includes essential information about whether you're
qualified, whether you're prepared, and where you're
headed. The other essays fill in details about these
fundamental points, but a strong answer about, for
example, how you overcame a failure will not revive
a candidacy that failed based on a lack of career
focus.
Every
answer should contain the following elements, unless
the application has separate questions addressing
them individually:
1.
Your long- and short-term goals.
2. Your relevant past experience.
3. An assessment of your strengths and the gaps
in your experience/education.
4. How an MBA program will bridge your past and
future and fill in those gaps.
5. Why this particular MBA program is a good
match for your needs.
There
are no groundbreaking reasons for pursuing an MBA.
This is not a place to aim for bold originality.
Rather, you should focus on articulating detailed
reasons that are specific to your situation.
Moreover, there is plenty of room to distinguish
yourself when discussing past experience and future
goals; the reasons themselves, however, come from a
more limited set. That said, you should not try to
drop buzzwords for their own sake. Make sure you tie
your specific objectives to other aspects of your
application.
TOP
10 BUSINESS SCHOOL ESSAY WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Use Company Jargon.
As a prospective business student, you have probably
spent the past few years in a corporate environment
with its own in-house terminology. Remember that you
are writing for a reader who hasn't attended your
company's meetings or contributed to its products.
You should certainly describe various aspects of
your professional life--your leadership skills, your
career trajectory, your triumph in the face of
obstacles, and so on--but do so in language that is
as accessible to your reader as it is to you.
Imagine that you are composing a document for a
customer who must decide whether to buy a particular
product: you. Write clearly and personably.
2. Don't Bore the Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays,
and they must often skim. Abstract rumination has no
place in an application essay. Admissions officers
aren't looking for a new way to view the world;
they're looking for a new way to view you, the
applicant. The best way to grip your reader is to
begin the essay with a captivating snapshot. Notice
how the blunt, jarring "after" sentence creates
intrigue and keeps the reader's interest.
Before:
I am a compilation of many years of experiences
gained from overcoming the relentless struggles
of life.
After:
I was six years old, the eldest of six children
in the Bronx, when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use Personal Detail. Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal
detail. They do not merely assert "I learned my
lesson" or that "these lessons are useful both on
and off the field." They show it through personal
detail. "Show, don't tell" means that if you want to
relate a personal quality, do so through your
experiences without merely asserting it.
Before:
If it were not for a strong support system which
instilled into me strong family values and
morals, I would not be where I am today.
After:
Although my grandmother and I didn't have a car
or running water, we still lived far more
comfortably than did the other families I knew.
I learned an important lesson: My grandmother
made the most of what little she had, and she
was known and respected for her generosity. Even
at that age, I recognized the value she placed
on maximizing her resources and helping those
around her.
The
first example is vague and could have been written
by anybody. But the second sentence evokes a vivid
image of something that actually happened, placing
the reader in the experience of the applicant.
4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also
confuses the important ideas you're trying to
convey. Short sentences are more forceful because
they are direct and to the point. Certain phrases,
such as "the fact that," are usually unnecessary.
Notice how the revised version focuses on active
verbs rather than forms of "to be" and adverbs and
adjectives.
Before:
My recognition of the fact that the project was
finally over was a deeply satisfying moment that
will forever linger in my memory.
After: Completing the project at last
gave me an enduring sense of fulfillment.
5. Do Address Your Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on
Them.
At some point on your application, you will have an
opportunity to explain deficiencies in your record,
and you should take advantage of it. Be sure to
explain them adequately: "I partied too much to do
well on tests" will not help your application. The
best tactic is to spin the negatives into positives
by stressing your attempts to improve; for example,
mention your poor first-quarter grades briefly, then
describe what you did to bring them up.
Before:
My grade point average provides an incomplete
evaluation of my potential and of the person I
am today, since it fails to reveal my passion
and determined spirit which make me unique and
an asset to the _______ School of Business.
After: Though my overall grade point
average was disappointing, I am confident that
the upward trend in my undergraduate transcript
will continue in business school. Furthermore,
my success on the GMAT and in the corporate
world since graduation reinforces my conviction
that I have a keen business sense--one that I
hope to develop at the _______ School of
Business.
6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence
lengths mixed within any given paragraph. Also,
remember that transition is not limited to words
like nevertheless, furthermore or consequently. Good
transition flows from the natural thought
progression of your argument.
Before:
I started playing piano when I was eight years
old. I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I
began to love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the
age of eight. As I learned to play more
difficult pieces, my appreciation for music
deepened.
7. Do Use Active Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which
the subject receives the action expressed in the
verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word to
be, such as was or were. Overuse of the passive
voice makes prose seem flat and uninteresting.
Before:
The lessons that have prepared me for my career
as an executive were taught to me by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that
will prove invaluable in my career as an
executive.
8. Do Seek Multiple Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions
in mind:
-
Does
my essay have one central theme?
-
Does
my introduction engage the reader? Does my
conclusion provide closure?
-
Do
my introduction and conclusion avoid summary?
-
Do I
use concrete experiences as supporting details?
-
Have
I used active-voice verbs wherever possible?
-
Is
my sentence structure varied, or do I use all
long or short sentences?
-
Are
there any clichés, such as "cutting-edge" or
"learned my lesson"?
-
Do I
use transitions appropriately?
-
What
about the essay is memorable?
-
What's the worst part of the essay?
-
What
parts of the essay need elaboration or are
unclear?
-
What
parts of the essay do not support my main
argument?
-
Is
every single sentence crucial to the essay? This
must be the case.
-
What
does the essay reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the
application essay into a complete autobiography. Not
surprisingly, they find it difficult to pack so much
information into such a short essay, and their
essays end up sounding more like a list of
experiences than a coherent, well-organized thought.
Make sure that every sentence in your essay exists
solely to support one central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut,
cut, and cut some more. EssayEdge.com's free
admissions essay help course and Harvard-educated
editors will be invaluable as you polish your essay
to perfection. The EssayEdge.com free help course
guides you through the entire essay-writing process,
from brainstorming worksheets and question-specific
strategies for the twelve most common essay topics
to a description of ten introduction types and
editing checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
Please discuss the factors, both professional and
personal, influencing the career decisions you have
made that, in turn, have led you to your current
position. What are your career goals for the future,
and why is now the appropriate time to pursue an MBA
at NAME? How will you avail yourself of the
resources at NAME to achieve these goals?
Turkish news nowadays carry vivid images which have
become terrifyingly commonplace: the surface of the
sea littered with dead sheep; a landfill explosion
leading to a number of deaths; vendors offering
radiation-contaminated tea for half-price; a little
girl's death resulting from her fall through an open
sewage manhole in her schoolyard; radioactive waste
sold to unsuspecting scrap dealers; a
twenty-year-old tanker breaking into pieces,
spilling hundreds of tons of crude oil into the
ocean and killing sea life all around.
The frequency with which these environmental
disasters fill Turkish news broadcasts -- along with
the obvious insensitivity of the authorities towards
both environment and health issues -- prompted me to
learn about ways to prevent these types of
disasters. At the age of fifteen, I decided to focus
my studies on environmental sciences in order to
equip myself with the technical tools I would need
to make a real contribution.
After earning a master's degree in environmental
sciences, I completed a professional international
management certificate program in order to gain a
management perspective of the field. I then realized
that, in order to effectively combine my technical
knowledge and management skills, I needed to
accumulate real-world experience. Specifically,
working at a large company would allow me to develop
insight into various industries, as well as an
overarching vision of the international business
arena.
I have now worked for nearly two years in the energy
and environment group of Koc Holding, Turkey's first
and biggest diversified conglomerate. As a project
engineer, I am mainly responsible for our holding
companies' environment and energy sector
investments. This position has given me the
opportunity to interact with businessmen from all
over the world, thereby expanding my international
perspective. Because of my outstanding work
performance, I was chosen to attend various meetings
with local and international governmental bodies
such as OPIC, IFC, and the World Bank. It is highly
unusual for a young associate to represent the
company at such events, and my self-confidence -- as
well as my management skills -- was further enhanced
by that successful experience.
While working in various business lines, including
the automotive industry, consumer durables, and the
energy sector, I have realized that the root cause
of many environmental problems is financial. I
believe that many people in the environmental sector
are so ignorant or insensitive that they will cheat
customers to increase profits. Furthermore,
businesses do not prioritize environmental
investments; as a result, insufficient funds are
allocated to adequately prevent problems. For
instance, despite a population over eight million
people, Istanbul, Turkey's largest city, still lacks
a properly operating sewage system. In most of the
areas of the city, waste water is discharged
directly into the Bosphorus.
In the long term, I hope to help solve my country's
problems by starting my own environmental-services
business in Turkey. The company will serve both
local and international customers by providing
cost-effective, adaptable solutions ranging from
waste management to safety management. In order to
accomplish this goal, however, I must deepen my
knowledge of the field. Despite my experience, I
still lack some important knowledge and management
skills, especially in finance, marketing, and
entrepreneurship. I am also aware that my knowledge
of American environmental issues is insufficient.
Since dealing with aspects of international business
will be an integral part of my job as an
entrepreneur, it is essential that I fill in these
gaps.
The NAME School's MBA program is the perfect bridge
from where I am to where I want to be. I am
attracted by the inventiveness and uniqueness of its
entrepreneurial and finance programs, and believe
that I will increase my practical knowledge of
entrepreneurship by interacting with my classmates.
I value the fact that at NAME entrepreneurial
education does not stop at the classroom, but rather
continues through internships and extracurricular
activities. I feel that a business school for
entrepreneurs should balance a dose of theory with
real-world application, and NAME's curriculum and
hands-on experiences through associations,
internships, and the management field study provide
such balance.
I am also drawn to NAME because of the school's
emphasis on teamwork and technology, reflected by
such exciting courses and programs as High
Technology Entrepreneurship, International Finance,
12-week field application projects, and the global
immersion program directed to teach global thinking
and global action. Additionally, the school's
profusion of student groups and its flexible
entrepreneurial program -- with electives from 200
courses -- will allow me to tailor my course of
study directly to my career interests. It is
precisely this flexibility that I plan to draw on
while at NAME and beyond, by taking advantage of
(and contributing to) the school's strong
international alumni network.
Above all, a NAME MBA will help me strengthen both
the finance knowledge and the entrepreneurial skills
necessary to secure a position as an environmental
specialist in a multinational American-based firm.
Such a position, in turn, will prepare me to
accomplish my long-term ambition of building my own
company. By developing and maximizing the technical
knowledge and managerial skills I have already
accumulated, NAME will allow me to ultimately make a
concrete and substantial contribution to Turkey's
environment.
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